He would have been 54 today.
I was married to Rob for 18 of his 52 birthdays. I have photos from every single one of them. And as I've looked at them to decide what to put on the blog, it was great to re-live those moments.
On the pictures from the first birthday I spent with Rob, I noticed the Duke Divinity School video in the background. This was when he was preparing to prove to Duke that he should be accepted and the video was about the process. He was accepted and graduated with lots of gratitude.
18 days into our marriage, this was the first birthday I spent with my Rob. Caleb (my first cousin who had his own room at my house) had made him a cake and colored a coffee cup for him. Rob and I both had to work that day so I bought him a birthday cookie.
Then there was 1999 when I gave him a 40th birthday party and inivited his churches and all of our family and friends. We had almost 200 people there.
There was his 50th (which was on a Sunday). The church he was serving gave him a covered dish party after church.
And then there was the last birthday we spent together before his death. We went to the beach with Jamie, Sally, Jay, Sarah, and Kaylee to celebrate. We had a great time!
And there was SO MUCH LIVING for us in between that first and last birthday.
Birthdays are about celebration of LIFE. That is what I'm trying to do. I am trying my best to celebrate the life our God gave to my Rob. I am working hard to make sure the children know what his life meant to so many people. I am trying to honor the marriage we had and the life we had together while at the same time, I do feel single again. I am celebrating the father he was to his four children and his influence on them while at the same time knowing that I am a single mother.
I do not know what my future holds. But as I've looked through these photos, I know I've had a great past. And although I am not spending my time LIVING in the past, there are still so many days that I'm sad that it IS the PAST. A part of me is gone and I don't think that will ever change. But on most days, I can remember that I enjoyed many wonderful seasons of life with my Rob and I can smile.
For all of those seasons and for all of those memories, I will always be grateful and I will forever feel blessed.
And now today, on what would have been his 54th birthday, I can smile as I know he is spending his second birthday with Jesus. There's just no thing better that I could wish for him.
On the pictures from the first birthday I spent with Rob, I noticed the Duke Divinity School video in the background. This was when he was preparing to prove to Duke that he should be accepted and the video was about the process. He was accepted and graduated with lots of gratitude.
18 days into our marriage, this was the first birthday I spent with my Rob. Caleb (my first cousin who had his own room at my house) had made him a cake and colored a coffee cup for him. Rob and I both had to work that day so I bought him a birthday cookie.
Then there was 1999 when I gave him a 40th birthday party and inivited his churches and all of our family and friends. We had almost 200 people there.
There was his 50th (which was on a Sunday). The church he was serving gave him a covered dish party after church.
And then there was the last birthday we spent together before his death. We went to the beach with Jamie, Sally, Jay, Sarah, and Kaylee to celebrate. We had a great time!
And there was SO MUCH LIVING for us in between that first and last birthday.
Birthdays are about celebration of LIFE. That is what I'm trying to do. I am trying my best to celebrate the life our God gave to my Rob. I am working hard to make sure the children know what his life meant to so many people. I am trying to honor the marriage we had and the life we had together while at the same time, I do feel single again. I am celebrating the father he was to his four children and his influence on them while at the same time knowing that I am a single mother.
I do not know what my future holds. But as I've looked through these photos, I know I've had a great past. And although I am not spending my time LIVING in the past, there are still so many days that I'm sad that it IS the PAST. A part of me is gone and I don't think that will ever change. But on most days, I can remember that I enjoyed many wonderful seasons of life with my Rob and I can smile.
For all of those seasons and for all of those memories, I will always be grateful and I will forever feel blessed.
And now today, on what would have been his 54th birthday, I can smile as I know he is spending his second birthday with Jesus. There's just no thing better that I could wish for him.
2 comments:
Dear Janna,
Thank you for sharing your pictures and memories with us. Rob's birthday was a special time for family and you have captured that. Rob was so special then, and remains so special now even though he is not here I'm glad he was a part of my life. I see Rob in the smiles of your children and in their playfulness. Together you created a beautiful family that I love.
What a beautiful tribute. I love the photos of your children when they were babies. What a precious family. I enjoy your blog and you do a wonderful job sharing your stories with just the right photographs to go with them. This one moved me to tears.
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